When you think of great locations to have sex outside the bedroom, you probably think of the romantic classics — the beach, a hot tub, maybe even the back of a car. What you don’t think (probably) is to have sex right in a terrifying box that is also a bathroom being used by thousands of strangers. And yet — and yet — new data shows that 9.4 percent of people who have had sex at a festival have done it in a port-a-potty. Yup, about 10 percent of people who decided to get down to the music said to themselves; “Let’s do a vigorous physical activity in a smelly box that, if we knock it over, will cover us both in poop.” Ah, young love.
Because it happens a lot — 33.6 percent of festival goers had had sex at one and 46.4 percent of festival goers had had oral sex with someone they just met. Talk about moving to the music. And, by a long shot, the number one sex positions they were going for was doggy style — the choice of 43.9 percent of festival sex-havers. Which, if you’re having sex in a port-a-potty seems… well, it seems smelly.
But portable bathrooms were only the choice for 9.4 percent of people. Here were the top sex festival locations, because a surprising amount of people are just going for it in the crowd.
1. In A Tent: 58.1%
No surprise here — tents are the festival equivalent of a bedroom, so there’s no wonder that that’s where most people decided to get frisky. That being said, they’re not sound proof and they’re often full of mud, so it’s not exactly the Ritz.
2. In A Car: 48.4%
A true American classic, nearly half of people who had sex at a festival had done so in a car. Which I guess is more private, except for when you remember that people can see through your windows, windshield, and pretty every side of your car.
3. In A Field: 28.4%
“In a field” sounds like a pretty romantic way to get down at a festival, but you can’t forget that most of these fields can get very muddy, not to mention the fact that they are also often filled with bottles, discarded cups, and probably worse. Just bring a towel to be safe.
4. In A RV/Campervan: 20.3%
The 20.3 percent of people who are doing it in RVs are the only people on this list doing it anywhere close to an actual bed. Well done, folks.
5. In The Crowd: 15.3%
This was way, way higher than I imagined it would be. Over 15 percent of people just decided to go for it in a crowd full of strangers and witnesses. Sometimes I think I’ve had a wild time in my life and then I hear stats like this and feel vanilla AF.
6. Port-a-Potty: 9.4%
This may be low on the list but I still feel like it’s way too many. Find a better place. Any place is a better place.
7. In A Dance Tent 3.8%
Another level of wild I’ve never managed to reach, about four percent of people who were having sex at a music festival just did in the dance tent. Was it dance sex? Was it vigorous? Or were they just spread eagle in the middle going to town? I want answers.
Festivals and sex always seem to be natural bedfellows. Something about sleeping on the ground, painting your face, and dancing all day just seems to create this “anything goes” vibe. But finding the right place to have sex at a festival is never easy — but the good news is, people seem to be doing it everywhere. So go forth and have fun, just be safe.